sleep training a baby

5 methods for sleep training a baby

There are many methods of sleep training, and different methods can be divided by severity and gentleness, such as the most severe crying immunity method and the most gentle intimate parenting method (founder William Sears).

Due to cultural and economic reasons, each society has different degrees of acceptance of different methods. For example, in the United States, where the independence of infants is highly emphasized, the Faber method is widely respected. Today, the editor will describe what different styles of sleep training methods look like.

Common intervention methods for behavioral sleep problems mainly include the following (Owens, 2014)

  1. Establish a bedtime ritual
  2. Cry immunity method and its variants (also called systemic neglect)
  3. Gradual dilution
  4. No tears
  5. Positive reinforcement

1. Establish a bedtime ritual

If you have decided to do sleep training and your whole family is ready for change, then I strongly recommend that you start with the bedtime ritual as the first step! Jodi A mindell (2009), an expert in children's sleep research, showed in her research that establishing a fixed nighttime bedtime ritual can improve night awakening and sleep continuity after falling asleep, and at the same time can improve the mother's emotional state. She emphasized that the bedtime rituals need to be consistent, positive, and in a clear order.

Consistency: Consistency means that the bedtime ritual consists of a fixed series of events that occur at almost the same time every day, and the sequence is basically fixed.

The bedtime ritual should include pleasant and positive activities, including parent-child reading, singing, etc., and the final part of the bedtime ritual needs to be performed in the room where you will sleep.

The ritual before going to bed should not be too long (less than 60 minutes) to avoid forming a tug of war.

If the child is unwilling to stay in his own crib or room, he needs to have fun and enjoyable play in his sleeping space during the day, emphasizing that his bed/room is a "front" place, not The parents left him where he left.

2. Cry immunity method and its variants

The crying immunity method and its variants mainly solve the problem that children need help from their parents when they fall asleep and wake up at night. This branch is also the most common and popular sleep training method, but it is also the most misunderstood by parents. Let's interpret the following methods of this branch separately:

1) Extinction crying immunity method

The crying immunity method, also called Cry it out (CIO), was first proposed in 1894 by the famous pediatrician Luther Emmett Holt (1855-1924) in his book "The Care and Feeding of Children". There is also a particularly popular book in Taiwan. The book is called "The Parenting Book of Hundred-year-old Physician Taught Me", which is to make the baby sleep the whole time according to the method of CIO. Therefore, Taiwan also calls this school of sleep training method "centennial school". If you are interested, you can check it out.

When it comes to crying immunity, I have to mention the author Marc Weissbluth (Mark Weissbluth), the author of the Chinese name "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". The crying immunity method defined by Marc Weissbluth refers to: in order for the child to learn to fall asleep by himself, and to go back to sleep without the help of parents when waking up at night, the child can be allowed to cry to fall asleep before going to bed at night, during a nap. Crying for up to 1 hour before (if the child has had colic before 4 months of age, the maximum allowed crying is 20 minutes). Weissbluth believes that crying immunity in the absolute sense may cause fewer doubts for babies, so that sleep problems can be solved more thoroughly, and the overall crying may be less.

Specifically, there are some points to be aware of when implementing the crying immunity method:

Weissbluth believes that to successfully implement sleep training, you must first grasp the child's sleep signals. Once the primary sleep signals (rubbing eyes, sluggishness, etc.) appear, they can be comforted by swaddling, breastfeeding, shaking, etc., and then put the child on the bed. Give your child a few minutes to cry so that he can fall asleep on his own.

According to the child's natural sleep cycle, develop a fixed nap schedule. If the child does not sleep for the first nap, parents should try to keep her awake until the time for the second nap before going to sleep.

If you are troubled by sleep problems, you should go to bed early. Starting the bedtime ritual earlier than usual can help you fall asleep earlier. A child who is overly tired will have a harder time falling asleep.

In practice, this absolute crying immunity method is rarely used. Most parents who have a certain degree of acceptance of crying will choose the following two variants of crying immunity method.

2) Graduated Extinction

Also known as cry control method, or Faber method. Its representative is Mr. Faber, and his representative work is "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". The Chinese name "Faber Sleep Collection" was revised and republished in 2006.

Faber method refers to: by allowing the child to cry before going to bed, and at the same time, at a gradual interval to see how to comfort the child to help the baby learn to self-pacify to sleep. The specific steps are as follows:

Fixed night nap and bedtime ritual before nap

Arrange for the child to fall asleep 30 minutes later than usual. Put the child on the bed when he is not asleep and then leave the room.

Enter the room at progressive intervals to comfort the child (but do not pick up the child). Every night, the period of comfort is longer than the day before.

The following suggestions are based on the premise that the child falls asleep alone. Of course, I also put forward relevant suggestions for children who share the same room with their parents or share different beds with their parents. Parents can adapt to the actual situation.

The child’s bedtime can be postponed appropriately within a few weeks after the beginning of the correction, preferably 30-60 minutes. At the same time, it should be ensured that the child's wake-up time in the morning is the same as usual, and the daytime nap time cannot be increased at will.

When going to bed, parents should settle the child in his own bed, can not hold him or shake him, make sure that his sleeping environment is the same as when he wakes up in the middle of the night, so that even if he wakes up in the middle of the night and sees the same environment, it is more It's easy to fall asleep again.

If the child is crying at bedtime or after waking up in the middle of the night, parents can try the waiting time provided in the above table and gradually increase the waiting time consciously. If the parents feel that the waiting time in the above table is too long, they can adjust it according to the actual situation.
If the number of children crying at night exceeds the number given in the table above, parents should not give up, but should continue to repeat the execution according to the maximum waiting time that night, until the child goes to sleep without the parent.

By the 3rd or 4th day, the child's sleep status should have been greatly improved. If by the 7th day, although the situation has improved, but it has not been eradicated, then parents can appropriately extend the waiting time each time on the basis of the 7th day. But if by the 7th day, the situation has not improved at all, or even worsened, parents should reflect on the entire correction process, please refer to the later content.

After each waiting, parents should walk into the room to look at their children, and the stay should not exceed two minutes.

Once the child wakes up in the early morning, whether he wakes up earlier or later than usual, he should be allowed to get up. The entire night’s sleep should be done in one room. You can’t sleep in this room for a while and that room for a while.

If the child does not want to stay in his room, he can lock the door of the child's room, and when he starts crying, walk to the door according to the time provided in the above table. If locking the door doesn't work, parents can lock the door of their own room as well.

If the parent and the child share a different bed, the child refuses to stay in his own bed, but walks out of the room with the parent or climbs to the parent’s bed, the parent should decisively close the door when leaving the room, and then follow the table given above. Enter the room at intervals and repeat this step until the child falls asleep by himself.

If the parent and the child sleep in the same bed, when the child is crying, the parent should keep a distance from the child and ignore any request of the child in due course according to the time interval given in the above table.

The above table is not only suitable for sleep at night, but also for naps during the day. If the child cannot fall asleep after half an hour, or wakes up crying after sleeping for a while, parents should stop the nap. In addition, it is best not to take a nap during the day too late, so as not to affect the child's night sleep.
Parents can record the child's sleep in time to observe the entire correction process.

It is not that Ferber does not support co-sleeping, he also has a more open attitude towards co-sleeping in the 2006 reprint of the book. Many parents believe that co-sleeping can increase the connection with the child and give the child a sufficient sense of security. In my conversation with Farber, Farber provided how to provide babies with more opportunities to fall asleep autonomously (for babies who are a little older and have communication skills) when sleeping together.

The method is: you can put a mattress next to the big bed to accompany the baby when he sleeps (to ensure that the baby does not have to deal with the emotional separation from the mother), but there is no physical contact. If the baby gets up, tell him/her that he/she must stay on the bed so that the mother can lie on the mattress next to him/her. If he/she insists on getting out of bed, mother will leave the room. After waiting for a while outside the room, enter the room again, put the baby back on the bed, and repeat the above process. Stick to this method for 3-7 days, if the baby makes some progress, you can give some rewards

3) extinction with parental presence

This method is a variant of the cry immunity method. Unlike the Faber method, it allows more parents to comfort. At first, while the child is still awake, lie down with the child until the child falls asleep, and then gradually reduce the company and comfort for the child in a planned way until the child can go to sleep without you.

For example, for a few days after lying down with the child until falling asleep, try to lie down with the child and try to reduce the physical comfort, or no longer have physical contact at all. In the next few days, I no longer lie down with the child, but sit on the side of the bed. After that, you can sit farther away from the bed and just use your voice to soothe the child. In a few days, you can try to leave the room for a few seconds and return to the room before the child is crying—this will help the child understand that you will come back after you leave and that you are trustworthy. But at this time you still stay in the room with your child until he falls asleep. When he gradually adapts to this process, you can extend the time to leave the room to a few minutes, and then go back to the room. (Skuladottir, 2003)

There is also a similar method, that is, parents and children sleep in the same room but sleep in another bed, sleeping while the child is crying. A research team conducted experiments specifically for this method and found that the short-term effects of families who sleep in the same room with their children and pretend to sleep are actually basically the same as the short-term effects of sleeping with their parents in another room and leaving the child in the same room to cry (Matthey , 2012)

3. Gradually dilute method

1) Pick up and put down method

In terms of arranging work and rest, the most well-known and the most commonly used by mothers is the EASY program created by Tracy Hogg in the "Practical Parenting Law". In this book, she emphatically mentioned a sleep training method considered to be moderate-pick up and put down method. She believes that children can neither completely rely on their parents or certain props to fall asleep, nor can they be completely "ignored" by their parents. Therefore, the pick-up and drop method is a relatively gentle way to teach children to fall asleep on their own.

Before implementing the pick-up and drop-off method, Tracy proposed to establish a good work and rest, forming a 3/4-hour cycle of an EASY program, and a 4S program ("Practical Program Parenting Law", P178).

The 4S program includes:

  • Layout environment (Setting the stage)
  • Swaddling
  • Sitting quietly (Sitting) after wrapping your baby, hold him and sit still for about 5 minutes, and keep him in a vertical posture, because his face is buried in your neck or shoulders, which blocks any vision Stimulus. Don't shake and don't move. .
  • The Shush-pat method makes a "Hush Hush Hush" sound in the ear while tapping the back. For babies less than 3 months old, multi-threaded tasks are not possible, so when you hush, his attention will be on the hush and he will stop crying. If the booing technique does not calm your baby, you can pick him up, place his head on your shoulders, and pat his middle back with steady, rhythmic movements. When he feels his breathing becomes heavy and his body begins to relax, he gently put him down and let his body lie on his side so that he can still pat his back; or put one hand on his chest and the other hand gently pat his back. If the room is not dark enough, you also need to cover your eyes (no contact). Once the baby enters the crib, use booing to keep him in the bed unless he starts to cry.

Under what circumstances do you use the pick-up and drop-down method?

  • Teach children who rely on props how to fall asleep on their own
  • Establish routine procedures for older babies, or reestablish procedures when parents leave the procedure
  • Help infants transition from the 3-hour EASY program to the 4-hour EASY program
  • When the baby wakes up too early in the morning because of parental intervention, rather than the baby’s natural biological clock, encourage the baby to sleep longer in the morning

How to use the lift and put down method? ("Utility Program Parenting Law", P218)

When the baby is crying, you walk into his room:

1. First try to comfort him with words (you can also sing a song);

2. Put your hand on his back. If the baby is less than 6 months old, you can use the boo pat. If it is a month old baby, just put your hand on the child’s back and let the child feel our presence (because for older children, the boo pat , Especially sound, may actually interfere with sleep).

3. If you keep crying in the baby, then you can

4. Pick him up. Once he stops crying, tell him your usual bedtime language (for example, it’s time for the baby to go to bed), then put him back in the crib, put his hands on his back, and continue with the words appease. If he cries again, pick him up again and repeat the above process. Until the baby enters deep sleep, you are removing your hands from his back and leaving the room. Gradually, you can take your hands away after he falls asleep, to prevent his hands from turning into new sleep associations.

Precautions for pick up and put down method:

1. If the child tilts his head back when crying, he should be put down immediately.

2. Even if he cries as soon as he leaves your shoulder, or when you put him in the crib, you still have to put him on the bed. Then restart the appeasement process from the beginning

3. If the child does not cry but rolls around after being put on the bed, use words to soothe him, or pat his back to help him calm down. Don't pick him up immediately.

4. The method of picking up and letting down cannot prevent the child from crying, but it can reduce the fear of the child, let the child know that you are with him when crying, and comfort him.

5. The pick up and drop method takes an average of 20 minutes, but it may take 1 hour or more. So physical strength is very important, try to find someone to cooperate with you.

6. Consistency is very important. Stay calm during the implementation process and use a gentle but firm tone.

7. In the implementation process, reduce eye contact, smile at your baby, play with or do other things that may distract your baby.

8. Use a pacifier when necessary. When carrying out the lifting and lowering method, the method of falling asleep with milk and hugs should not be used.

9. racy recommends verbal comfort and physical contact at the same time. I suggest to use language to appease first, if you can't use physical contact to appease (patting the back), if you still cry, then hug it up.

10. Be sure not to hold until you are completely asleep and then put it down. Make sure that your baby is in a dazed but not asleep state when you put it down.

11. Once you put it down, pick it up again to shorten the time.

12. Picking up how to comfort is very important, so you need to practice the basic skills of comfort first.

Pick up and drop methods for different months of age:

4-6 months: At 4 months, you can hold it for 4-5 minutes, and at 6 months, the time for each hold is 2-3 minutes. It should not be too long.

6-8 months: If your baby cries more fiercely when you pick it up, don’t pick it up as soon as you cry, but hold your hand with the child when you cry, and wait for him to respond to you. Hold up. After picking up, adopt a horizontal posture, and at the same time use words to soothe the child, and then put the child back into the crib. After putting your child back into the crib, you'd better get out of the crib to prevent the child from crying more when he sees you.

8-12 months: Children of this month can usually sleep better when they are not in your arms, so try not to pick them up unless the child is crying very badly. When the child stands up or sits up, gently tell the child to lie down and put him down. When he can continue to lie on the bed, you use words to soothe and put your hands on the child's back.

The application of pick up and put down method:

The pick up and drop method does not apply to all babies. For some children, picking up and letting go is an over-stimulation. They wonder why their mother picked me up but didn't completely put me to sleep, so they would cry more.

The pick up and drop method does not apply to all parents. Some parents prefer to stay in the room with their children, but some parents have repeatedly picked up their children for countless times, the frustration rises sharply, which will affect the courage to continue the operation.

The pick up and drop method is not suitable for babies under 4 months old, and it is not suitable for babies of older months. The best implementation time is 4-6 months.

Generally, it takes 2 weeks to implement the pick up and drop method. If you are going to travel soon, or if your child is about to be vaccinated, the timing may not be appropriate.

2) Positive routines with faded bedtime (positive routines with faded bedtime)

The logic behind this sleep training method is simple. It believes that children will fall asleep more easily after a series of predictable, scheduled, and relaxing bedtime rituals. But if you set the time to fall asleep too early, and the child is not so sleepy, he will resist falling asleep. So this method is also very simple to do-guide the child to associate the bedtime ritual with feeling doze, and then all you have to do is to wait for the time when the child is really sleepy and ready to go to sleep, and then arrange to fall asleep. Of course, sometimes this time to fall asleep will be much later than you expected.

Therefore, this method actually tests the parents' ability to observe children's sleep patterns. When does the child usually fall asleep at night (naturally)? What performance means that the child is really sleepy enough to want to sleep? It is usually recommended to postpone the time to fall asleep 30-60 minutes based on experience. For example, if it took 45 minutes for the child to cry to fall asleep, then the time to fall asleep can be delayed by 45 minutes or more. When your child can fall asleep within 15-20 minutes, and he also associates the bedtime ritual with the new falling asleep time, then you can move the falling asleep time forward every few days until it reaches The most suitable time to fall asleep for your child's age, work and rest. (Adams and Rickert, 1989)

There are two points to note. When using this method, you need to avoid:

Have a sleep at dusk. Even if this sleep is short, it may cause a serious delay in the time to fall asleep
It is not advisable to wake up too late to avoid giving the child too much time to make up for sleep, which affects the normal work and rest.

3) Camping out

Mrs. Sleep refers to Kim West, also translated as Ms. Sleep. And her method Sleep Lady Shuffle is translated into foot movement, also called "disappearing chair method." I met Kim West herself in the United States. She is a registered social worker, a family therapist, and the mother of two children. She thinks her method is mild, and sleep lady shuffle is one of the few sleep training methods that has its own systematic methodology after Faber method.

In general, the walking method allows parents to accompany the child while helping the child learn to fall asleep on his own, but this kind of company will gradually fade until the child will fall asleep on his own when the parent is away. Relatively speaking, because of the parents around, using this method may be less crying, but the first effect may be longer than the "cry immunity method", so parents need more time and more Patience and more persistence.

How to use the sleeping lady's footwork?

Before implementation, make sure that the child’s work and rest are regular and have a fixed bedtime ritual

a. As usual, perform the bedtime ritual

  • Close the bedroom door
  • Arrange for the child to go to bed, but do not use the original sleep association (milk sleep, hug sleep, accompany sleep, etc.), put the bed when the child is confused but still not asleep

b. Put a comfortable chair next to the child's bed, and you sit by the child's bed.

  • Encourage the child to lie on the bed by himself. If the child is unwilling to lie down, pat the mattress or give encouragement in words. If the child is lying on the bed at first, but will keep getting out of bed, then you need to calmly bring the child back to the bed. Avoid preaching, and don't keep chasing him to put him in bed. Encourage him to stay in bed.
  • Tap, touch, sing, or make some "hmm hmm" sounds to soothe the child while sitting on the chair next to the bed, but don't keep it constant, otherwise it may become a new sleep association. Stop these comforts when the child is about to fall asleep. Some children may not like the comfort of physical contact and follow the children's preferences.
  • If the child starts to cry and is hysterical, then pick up the child or hug the child to calm him. But don't pick up your child to walk around the room, and don't let your child end up sleeping in your arms. When the child calms down, kiss him and put him back on the bed again, and you continue to sit in the chair next to the bed and continue the above comforting method.
  • Stay by the bed until the child is completely asleep before leaving.
  • When the child wakes up at night, you still return to the position where the chair was when you fell asleep, and then repeat the above steps until the child goes back to sleep.

c. As a unit every 3 days, the chair is gradually away from the bed where the child sleeps. When the child can't see you, just use words to soothe, and no longer have any physical soothing, until the child falls asleep when you are not in the room at all. In this process, parents should also constantly reflect on which methods of comfort can help the child calm down, and which ones will irritate the child.

Application of moving foot method:

Kim believes that her method works at 6 months-5 years old. But for older children (over 1.5 years old), some positive discipline methods may be required, such as routine routines, family meetings, etc.

4) The excuse me drill

This method is also one of the ways of sleep training that is gradually diminishing. It is relatively gentle, but it is indeed more suitable for older children (3 years old +) who have the ability to communicate and have certain abstract thinking. It is more suitable for the situation where you want to accompany your child to sleep, but now you want your child to fall asleep on their own. This method was invented by the psychologist Dr. Brett Kuhn of the University of Nebraska.

How to perform the excuse me drill?

a. As usual, arrange for the child to fall asleep after completing the daily bedtime rituals.

b. At this time you can use the following sentence pattern: "I'm sorry, I am leaving the room for a while, because I want to __________, I will be back in a while!" It doesn't matter what you do, so you can say: drink some water, go to the bathroom , Take out the garbage, etc.

c. After a short while (a few minutes) at the beginning, before the child gets out of bed or follows you out of the room, go back to the child's room. When you get back to the room, praise your child for staying in bed, be brave, etc. At this time, you can also touch the child, stay for a while, then continue to use the above sentence pattern, and then leave the room.

d. Gradually reduce the frequency of going back to the room every few nights, and the time interval between leaving the room is not fixed until the child falls asleep without you in the room.

Note for the excuse me drill:

This method uses a positive reinforcement logic, so it is necessary to constantly praise the child for being able to stay in bed. And fully describe their positive behavior.

  • It may take 20-30 minutes for the first few nights.
  • If your child gets out of bed before you return to the room, you can take him back to the room and go to bed. If your child gets out of bed repeatedly, you can try to tell them that you will come back the moment he is lying in bed.
  • This method cannot be used alone. It needs to have a good company with the child, establish a benign connection, and avoid becoming a new power struggle.
  • It can be combined with the time to fall asleep after the postponement.

4. No-cry Solution

The founder of No Tears is Elizabeth Pantley. She, like Sears, is a supporter of intimate parenting. In 2002, he published "no crying sleep solution", the Chinese translation is called "The secret of sleeping peacefully at night".

The concept of no tears:

Pantley recommends that parents follow their children's sleep signals to arrange to fall asleep. She does not recommend that parents strictly follow the cycle of eating, playing and sleeping. She emphasizes that parents need to understand the needs of their children and allow their babies to decide how to sleep at night. Whether it is co-sleeping, breast-feeding or other methods, as long as he feels comfortable.

The tearless method is deeply influenced by the intimate parenting movement. She advocates that parents establish strong connections through close physical contact with their children, so that they can more sensitively capture and respond to their children's needs.

The Tearless Method believes that a good preparation before going to bed can solve most sleep problems.
How to use the no-tear method:

The Tearless Method is a general term. It believes that the following 10 steps are needed to adjust a child’s sleep

a. Sleep environment safety inspection

b. Learn basic sleep knowledge

c. Record sleep log

d. Review and choose sleep solutions (by months of age)

e. Develop a personal sleep adjustment plan

f. Implement sleep adjustment plan for 10 days

g. Record 10 days of sleep log

h. Analyze the progress in the 10 days

i. Continue to implement the sleep adjustment plan for 10 days+

j. Repeat steps 6-8 above

The part of formulating a personal sleep plan needs to be done

Parents are emotionally prepared
Baby is ready (emotionally, feeding, and night comfort)
Create a bedtime ritual
Early bedtime, suitable pre-bedtime routine
Help your baby learn to fall asleep on his own
Unique sleep signal

The way to reduce the hug and fall asleep is:

Shake while walking-slowly walk and shake-stand and continue to shake-stand and shake occasionally-stand still and hug-sit and hug-lie down and hug-lie down without hug

5. Positive reinforcement

1) Daily routine

You can brainstorm with your baby and make arrangements for the daily routines to be done before going to bed. While guiding the baby to design by yourself, you can add some parts that the baby has forgotten. Next, draw them all in a reasonable order, or take them as photos, and paste them on the wall (visualization). Put a tick on it every time you complete a part. You can prevent your baby from going back by asking "What's the next item on your routine list?" Avoid marking the time to put pressure on your baby

Take a gentle and firm attitude to keep asking your baby before going to bed. You can also agree to a secret sign with your baby, such as saying, "Mom loves you very much, and mom wants to be with you very much. Now is the time to go to bed. Do we hold hands to sleep together, or do we lie down and sleep with you?" (Provided choose)

"After we finish telling the story, what should we do?" (Let the baby tell him to sleep)

2)Sticker charts

For those children who have a regular schedule and self-discipline but will make unreasonable demands out of habit, incentives can be introduced in the sleep training process to help children adjust their sleep by positively strengthening and affirming certain correct behaviors.

How to use the points reward table?

  • Choose the points reward table and stickers that children are interested in (I found an English one below, and you can design it yourself)
  • If the child already has a certain level of communication skills, then the parent can communicate with the child and negotiate and develop a set of reward methods together.
  • A few days before you are ready to use the points reward table, begin to patiently explain the entire set of incentives to your baby. For example, you can ask the child if he is willing to go to bed later. The child must be particularly happy. Then you can make a condition that if you want to go to bed late, you must not get out of bed all night while sleeping, and you must stay in bed. After the child agrees, the parent can ask the child whether it is necessary for the parent to stay outside the door or stay in another room while falling asleep. Before the actual implementation, repeat the explanation every night before going to bed.
  • Design a score table with your child to give different points to different behaviors. For example, stay in bed while sleeping, accumulate 2 points; call parents but do not leave the bedroom when you wake up, accumulate 1 point; run out of the room more than twice, do not accumulate points, etc.
  • After waking up the next day, go to the points table and put stickers together. If the part that is not done is not emphasized deliberately, tell the child "I can do better next time!"
  • When the points reach a certain number, you can get rewards in kind. The reward itself is a symbol, not a bribe from the parents to the child, so small things that are not expensive are more suitable. The process of rewarding points should not be too long, otherwise the child will lose interest.
  • If the incentive mechanism does not improve the child's bad habits, some restrictions can be added, such as the use of fences or protective gates to cooperate.

Disputes on the points award table:

The point reward table is a very powerful psychological tool. It can affect the child's mentality by changing the child's behavioral motivation, and even affect the relationship between the child and the parent. This kind of psychology is called "reward economy" in academic circles. Under the "reward economy", children learn to trade good behaviors in exchange for rewards. The reward economy promotes the modelling of good behavior: children behave well for rewards, and no rewards are due to whether they behave well. The controversy of this method is: it will weaken the child's own motivation, bargaining will continue to increase the reward price, and it will also affect the child's thinking about the relationship. Therefore, the scoring table cannot be used for a long time, and it only has a short-term effect.

Therefore, when we use the points reward table, we need to associate the desired behavior with the mastering of a new ability, instead of directly linking the behavior change with the reward. For example, you want your child to hang up his coat every time he goes home. When she does this, you can tell him "because I found that you have mastered the skills of how to properly place your clothes, so I am very happy to buy you a new coat next month" instead of saying "If you can hang your clothes every day for 2 weeks, then I can buy you a new coat." The child of the first statement will continue to maintain this new good habit, while the child of the second statement will only continue this behavior until he gets a new coat, and then he will throw the new coat away, together with His new good habit.

3) Require card Bedtime pass

Request card is also called "get out of bed free card" in English. It can help preschool children to improve the problem of delayed falling asleep when they sleep at night.

How to use the requirement card?

  1. Make a card with your child. This card represents a chance to come out of the room after going to bed and falling asleep, or ask mom and dad to agree to a simple request-such as drink a glass of water, hug again and so on.
  2. After performing the bedtime ritual, arrange for the child to fall asleep at a regular daily time, and at the same time ensure that this requirement card is within the reach of the child (at hand)
  3. Once the child uses this requirement card, it becomes invalid and cannot be used again
  4. If you still get out of bed and walk out of the room again after using the request card, you need to calmly take the child back to the bed without interaction to avoid eye contact and dialogue.

Points to note when requesting a card:

  • Suitable for children aged 3-10
  • In the first few nights, the child will first confirm whether this requirement card is useful. Usually they will try to make a request after the request card is used to see if you are firmly implementing it. So make sure that you don’t pay too much attention after the card is required to be used.

The editor of "5 methods for sleep training a baby " is here to share with you, and we will share with you in the next issue: Baby sleep training big analysis-how to sleep training methods, please continue to pay attention to it.

Similarly, if you are impatient and eager to get a glimpse of the whole picture of sleep training, you can click the link below, enter the micro-class, and listen to the sharing from Teacher Wang! !

If you are very confused about your baby's sleep and don't know how to help your baby sleep well, please continue to pay attention to us. There are word-of-mouth experiences, observations of large samples, cutting-edge research results, and more of these experiences, observations, and results of refinement, blending, criticism, and reflection.

At the same time, we provide one-to-one personalized sleep consultation and customized services to help you and your baby get healthy and adequate sleep at the same time.


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